


Roses are red, his lips are blue.

by BreathingWater



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Cutting, Depression, M/M, Recovery, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:00:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21607180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreathingWater/pseuds/BreathingWater
Summary: Keith has some problems...READ THE TAGS!! TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY!
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	1. Breathe Me.

**Author's Note:**

> Keith and I struggle with a lot of the same things, and I'm mostly just venting here. I'm using him as my personal venting dummy. Sorry, Keith.

Keith tsked as he cut a little too deep, watching as the blood poured from his veins. He sighed and grabbed a wad of toilet paper to cover it up. He looked down at the mess that was his wrist. Littered in cuts and scars. He knew he shouldn't be doing this... but he just couldn't stop. It was addictive. The pain, the pleasure. The successful feeling he got when he was finished... although he would never truly be finished. Not until his wrists poured out his final breath. He looked down at the floor, thinking about why he did this to himself, he wasn't handsome enough, and he would never be truly loved. Not until he was handsome and pretty and skinny... He punished himself for eating. Puking it up and making himself gag on his fingers every night, waiting for the day when all of his efforts would finally pay off.  
'  
He would never be who he wanted to be. And that was that. Who he wanted to be was a skinny handsome male that everyone would want to be friends with. But being skinny wasn't magic. He wouldn't be automatically likable by becoming skinny. He would have to change who he was. Who he is. And he was okay with that. 

Keith placed down the blade in it's hiding place and hopped into the shower, turning the water on to as hot as it could go, boiling himself alive. He sighed under the hot water and ran his fingers through his hair. He could feel the water burning his sensitive finger tips, the ends of the bone screaming in rage at the overcoming feeling of warmth. He didn't care, though. He was always cold, and it felt nice to be warm for once. He grabbed his two-in-one head and shoulders dandruff soap and poured a small amount into his hand. A little went a long way, or at least that's what he had convinced himself. The same analogy he used when it came to food. He rubbed his hands together to make a foamy consistency of the soap, and put it in his hair. 

Keith slowly worked the soap into his hair. Waiting for it to be fully covered so he could wash it out and move on to cleaning his new wounds. He knew he had to clean them out, he didn't want them to get infected. Otherwise he might have to go to the hospital... and if he went to the hospital, they would put him inpatient again. And he couldn't handle going inpatient again. It totally wasn't his thing. Being surrounded by people with worse problems than him, adults who don't have any self-control. But then again, Keith was no better. he couldn't go a day with calories in his system. He couldn't go a day without taking out his inner conflicts on his wrist.

Keith took the rag and disinfectant that was in his little cubbyhole in his shower and poured the disinfectant onto the rag. Then, he used the rag to clean his cuts. Keith moved the rag up and down his currently bleeding wrist and watched as the blood soaked into the cotton. He groaned as he reached the cut that was a bit too deep and cleaned it thoroughly. He placed down the rag once he was done and grabbed his body wash, pouring it into his hands and started to wash his body. He felt along his ribs, which were very prominent and noticeable and he sighed softly. Finally, he could feel his ribs again. He had been starting to get worried that he was gaining too much weight from purging instead of starving himself.

He finished washing himself and went to turn the shower off. Stepping out of the shower, looking a dripping, cold, wet rat. His hair was draped down to his shoulders now that it was wet. He grabbed a towel from where it hung on a silver rod attached to his wall and dried himself off, throwing on his school uniform. He looked at himself in the mirror. All of his clothes had become large on him, he knew the exact reason why, and he couldn't care less. He turned to the side and sucked in, his ribs becoming even more prominent than they already were. He traced along his stomach with his hands. 'Not skinny enough' he thought to himself as he turned his face toward the mirror once more. He inspected his acne and hair, oh well. Nothing he could do about his shitty appearance. Time to go to school.


	2. Skinny Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith goes to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is wack.

Keith sighed deeply as he walked through the gates to his private catholic school. He hated this place with an absolute burning passion. All the kids were either extremely catholic, incredibly rich, or just plain disturbing. Sure, Keith wasn't much better than the disturbing bunch, but at least he didn't fucking hiss at people like a damn cat. He shook his head as he thought about the stupidity of his peers. Keith looked down at the ground as a group of 'popular jock boys' walked by him. Everyone in the school knew he was gay because of James Griffin, which just influenced his depression even more. He was an outcast, not that he minded, but it still kind of sucked. He didn't like being looked down upon, he was surprised he hadn't thrown a punch at anyone that was looking at him the way they did. 

Keith looked to his right to see a group of girls talking about how cute some Lane or whatever kid was. He rolled his eyes as he passed them and turned his head forward once more. He looked towards the ground once more and kept walking down towards the building. School didn't start for another fifteen minutes, but he didn't care. To avoid his foster parents, Keith would do anything, including walking to school earlier than needed.

His will to live was depleting by the minute, he could tell people were talking about him and how much of a faggot he was. He hated it. He hated them all. And nothing would ever change that. They were all pretentious pricks that could honestly get on their snobby knees and suck his fucking dick.

Keith walked over to one of the empty outside tables and took a seat, whipping out his best friend, his backpack. He kept everything in there. His laptop, his laptop charger, his notebooks, his poems, his art, his everything. He took out his laptop and placed it on the table, logging in within a matter of seconds. He opened up his favorite writing platform, Archive of Our Own. Keith quickly opened his current work and continued another fucking poem, as if he didn't have enough. He sighed to himself and started to write, letting the words flow through the keyboard onto the dim screen. He pulled out some headphones and plugged them into his laptop, quickly choosing some Three Days Grace song and returning to his work.

Keith lost track of time whilst he was writing and soon enough, the bell rang. He quickly packed up his things and made sure to zip his backpack shut. God, he felt awful, with his lack of sleep and lack of enthusiasm, he was practically a zombie as he walked into his first period. Keith honestly wished he was stoned right now, but instead of smoking he decided to cut this morning, great, another reason to pity his existence. He lightly tossed his bag underneath his desk and took a seat, ignoring the teacher droning about history in favor of pulling out his phone and blaring some indie rock band through his headphones. He put his head down on his desk and waited until he was drifting in and out of consciousness. Soon enough, the bell rang for second period.

He was walking down the hallway when someone roughly shoulder checked him. He turned to see who it was, and sure enough, it was the one and only, the awful, James Griffin. Keith sighed and turned back around, he didn't feel like getting into another fight. He was way too fucking tired. He didn't understand why James had the audacity to try and start shit with him when he had never done anything but had sex with the guy. Worst part about it, both of their virginity's were lost that night. 

Once Keith arrived at his second period he put his head down once more, hearing the teacher yell at him to lift it up. He, of course, ignored the ignorant bitch and continued to sleep. This went on for the rest of the day. Sleeping his way through education and important occurrences around him. This is how every day went. He didn't even know how he was passing his classes, must be pity from his teachers. Hm, at least someone cared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof.


	3. When He Cries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith talks to his foster dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where I'm going with this. Sorry.

When Keith got home, his least favorite foster parent lye sprawled upon the couch. The man was clearly inebriated. Keith sighed and went for the stairs when he heard his name, although slurred, he could still tell he was being called.

Keith reluctantly turned around and made his way to the couch, standing in front of his foster dad with a glare that could kill. His foster dad just smiled at him and patted the seat next to him, to which Keith shook his head. 

"Sit down, boy." Lucas said in an obnoxiously loud voice. Clearly annoyed now.

Keith took to the seat next to his 'father' and waited for the yelling to begin. Only to look over and find Lucas staring at him with a proud gaze. Keith let his face morph into a confused look, why was he looking at him like that? It sure as well wasn't because of school. Keith didn't apply himself at all in his classes. He was just... there. He didn't care for school, he didn't have his freshmen or sophomore credits so, what was the point? He was dropping out as soon as he turned eighteen anyway. He turned to face his 'father' fully. THe man looked him over with an appreciative hum leaving his chapped lips.

"You've gotten skinnier, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." Was that it? Was that all Lucas was going to do for the day? No lecture? What the fuck was going on.

"How'd you do it, boy?"

"Um, just exercise."

Lucas let out an indifferent hum and waved his hand in a shooing motion. "That's enough, go to your room, you stink."

Keith scowled and stood up, subtly smelling his shirt, shit. It smelled like weed, he should've switched clothes from the other day...

Keith decided it was best to forget that useless interaction, although the compliment on his weight loss made his chest fill with pride. It was working! People were noticing. And it didn't seem as though Lucas saw him as unhealthy, otherwise he would have been blunt about it. Keith sighed as he made his way to his room, looking at his door that was plastered with 'do not enter!' signs he had collected over the past four years. And Lucas and Miranda respected his wishes. They didn't intrude on his personal space and he did the same for them.

When Keith finally opened his door, he let his gaze fall to the floor of his disgusting room. Food wrappers from binge eating were everywhere. Along with forgotten clothes that would probably never get washed again. He looked around the room at his multitude of posters and conspiracy theories that plastered his walls. He was a conspiracy theorist, sue him.

Keith went straight to his bed, told his Alexa to play some Three Days Grace, and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Oof.


End file.
